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Tag Archives: microsoft

This Modern English

Microsoft Visual Studio: Microsoft eMbedded Visual Tools

What the hell does “eMbedded” mean? Are they saying it’s E-Mbedded? Or is the M really what’s supposed to be emphasized? I can’t believe they would capitalize a word like that…

…which leads me to wonder about the meeting where this happened. Can you imagine these guys sitting around, these totally worthless lumps of flesh at a conference room table thinking, “What if we capitalize the second d? What could we make that mean?” “No, no! Let’s capitalize the ‘m’! It’ll look really cool!”

I think every company remotely connected with the computer industry should sue Microsoft. Serves ’em right for doing this stupid crap. No more ridiculous punctuation.

Hell, this goes for Apple, too. I’m sick of seeing products begin with a lower case ‘i’. I suppose now that they’ve started this thing, they can’t turn back though. Freaking i’everything. Doesn’t make any sense. “iMovie”, “iTunes”, “iPod” — iPod is the worst of them all because they’re telling me to not steal music, which means, more often than not, that I shouldn’t be downloading it from the internet…

blah blah blah.

error message

so the other day, i get home and move the mouse on the computer, bringing it back to life. there is a dilogue box waiting for me. it reads:

“The last few times your computer went into standby mode, it stopped responding. Would you like to prevent your computer from going into standby mode in the future? Yes/No”

This is the equivilent of:

Man: Doc, it hurts when I go like this.

Doc: Then don’t do that.

Microsoft has adopted the old “then don’t do that” method of troubleshooting. I imagine future dialogue boxes.

“Your computer crashed the last 3 times you tried to read email. Would you like to discontinue the reading of email on your computer?”

“Each of the five previous attempts to burn a CD with this machine have failed. Shall we remove your CD burner?”

“Every time you send your resume out, you get rejected. Would you like to uninstall Microsoft Word?”

And so on, and so forth, until the gray plastic box becomes simply a gray plastic box.

“I noticed you tripped over your computer 6 of the last 23 times you entered the room. Would you like me to disintigrate the box?”

Oh, yes please. I wish it would ask me if I wanted to install a real OS on my machine….