Just so you see how it works, sometimes — I’ve gone off the deep end (no pun intended):
Max removed an electronic lockpick from the satchel he wore around his waist and inserted it into the lock. He pushed a button and the device made a whirring noise, beeped six times, whirred again, clicked, did a sort of “gunkwhistleshtoop” nois, ticked, tocked, clanged (softly), and finally beeped twice more. Max replaced the gadget in his bag and turned the knob. The door swung open easily.
5 Comments
50,000 words, ya know. 50,000 words! It’s reality not for a door to open easily though. Much better than “he clumsily picked the lock and opened the door.” Too much success too quickly, not real.
Well, the idea really was that Max is an ultra-cool B&E man and while it may have taken a while (all that beeping and clicking and whatnot took some time) he expended no effort at all in the job.
Too freaking cool.
And soon, he gets attacked by a giant squid. I’m not even kidding.
Darn it! The giant squid was going to be in my story. So, the anarchists are sitting around the co-op at the climactic “you’re the mole!” scene and then a giant squid drops from the sky and eats them all.
A fitting end for anarchists. 🙂
Perhaps you should add a line like, “he went to wipe his head but discovered no sweat at all to wipe. ‘Easy as always’, he thought to himself.”
Don’t let Max kill the giant squid, please.
Don’t worry, sted. No squids were harmed in the making of this novel.
Comments are closed.