It’s so weird to be the one that’s leaving this time. I’ve had so many friends leave Chicago before, and felt their absence and such and such, but not been the one to do it myself. And here I am… Said my first goodbyes today, to Steve and Jason (to hell with them!) and it was just…strange. Very very strange.
On one hand, many many people in my life these days are only apparations in email, instant messenger or XBL (and therefore, figments of my imagination) and so moving isn’t going to make that much of a difference in those relationships. On the other hand, as I physically get together for a beer with friends and then say goodbye it starts to sink in….
I did once leave a place behind — when I moved here from Columbus. That was back in 86 — I was 11. So happy to get out of Columbus, the city which had become a negative place for me (dramatically portrayed as a suburb of Hell in that infamous epic of mine, “Gates of Hell” back when I used to tell stories [*ay me!*]) that it didn’t matter much. I left some family behind and some friends too…. But there, most of my friends lived far from me, and I only saw them in school. And I was going to family as well (Dad and Joyce) and new friends already….
Don’t get me wrong — I’m certain this is the right decision. Chia-Jung is the future (she’s a space-age polymer!) and I’m really excited to do something crazy (like pack up everything I own, go into debt, and move to a state I’d never even considered before) at this point in my life…. There’s just these little…nicks? bumps? nodes?…that keep popping up as I brush past on my way out the door.
Dave told me you never learn so much about yourself as while you’re going through serious upheaval and there’s never a better time to grow than at those times. And you should really take advantage of the opportunity to observe yourself and see how you react to change. Dave’s a Buddhist. Of course.
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Do you remember long ago, when I came home from Michigan on break? We were sitting with Mike Zeis(sp?), and I was bitching about all the redneck fucks I kept running into. He said that we don’t really know what we stand for and believe in when we surround ourselvs with people just like us. You need to butt-heads with the opposition to test and solidify your beliefs. This whole move is much the same. You will find strengths and tallents you never knew you had, and a few chinks in your armor. The other side of the looking-glass is a beautiful place, though. Excuse me, (snif) I need a tissue.
Aww, Phil. That’s so sweet. I might have to come down to Warshington to visit youse guys.
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