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Matt dove faster, heading straight for Mitch and the squid. He again used the same technique he’d learned through trial and error in his previous encounters with the creatures. He began hitting it in its eyes and soon, it loosened its grip on his friend. Mitch’s unconscious body floated down to the ocean floor and the squid turned its attention towards Matt.
Again, Matt was able to disable, distract or confuse the creature without permanently, or even seriously harming it. Unfortunately, the bastards over at PETA have successfully petitioned to keep a detailed description of that scene from this account. This is exactly the kind of liberal, left-winged hypocrisy that is destroying our country from within. Censorship of this nature, for the sole purpose of protecting the “rights” of a few squid who serve absolutely no purpose and make no positive contributions to our society at large is anathema to what our country stands for. Our forefathers did not fight and die to create a nation whose people were unable to read an in-depth description of a tanned, buff, young lifeguard beating the crap out of a giant squid. I apologize and urge you to take the opportunity to write an angry letter to the people at PETA, and to your representatives in Congress in hope that we might reverse this situation. Until then, you’re going to have to use your imaginations. Thank you.