{"id":869,"date":"2011-11-24T20:38:25","date_gmt":"2011-11-25T02:38:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/?p=869"},"modified":"2011-11-24T21:48:01","modified_gmt":"2011-11-25T03:48:01","slug":"happy-zombie-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/?p=869","title":{"rendered":"Happy (Zombie) Thanksgiving"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Post-feasting zombie. Word count: 40,592<\/p><\/div>\n

Happy Thanksgiving, one and all. Had a lovely day — ran 8K in the morning, and then cooked and ate and watched football and wrote a bit for the rest of the day. Lovely company, wonderful food, etc. etc. etc. etc.<\/p>\n

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\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d It had been a long time since I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d thrown a temper tantrum — at least three years — so I was about due. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been having the worst luck ever since I turned into a zombie. This isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fucking fair!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Brains.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d You are acting like a child. Pull yourself together. Grow a pair.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Grow a pair?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I shrieked. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Grow a pair? Are you seriously telling me that I need to grow a pair of testicles? You know what? I had a perfectly good working pair of balls before you came into my life you sadistic sack of shit.”<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Brains.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d We are not amused<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well neither are we…. am I…. Whatever. Neither am I. Amused. I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t been amused one bit since this whole thing started. Not one bit.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Br–.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d We–<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do you know, Westy, how much I absolutely love being amused? Oh wait, let me correct that. How much I loved being amused? I fucking adored it. Being amused was my favorite past time. And now I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m looking at a future where I have no more amusement. Ever. Ever. Do you know how that makes me feel?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Br–.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d We–<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s right, you have no idea how it makes me feel. But you know what? Neither do I? Know why? Because I hardly feel shit anymore because, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a sentient fucking virus stuck in my head, taking over all the parts of my brain that feel shit. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not even sure that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m angry right now, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s how fucked up my head is.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Br–.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The–<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know why I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m yelling. I think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just something I enjoy — or enjoyed, thank you very much — doing back when I had feelings, and a life, and working fucking genitalia.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Br–\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Wou–<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No, I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t let you get a word in edgewise. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t care what you have to say right now.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Happy Thanksgiving, one and all. Had a lovely day — ran 8K in the morning, and then cooked and ate and watched football and wrote a bit for the rest of the day. Lovely company, wonderful food, etc. etc. etc. etc.   \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d It had been a long time since I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d thrown […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[109],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-869","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nanowrimo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/869","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=869"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/869\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=869"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=869"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=869"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}