{"id":862,"date":"2011-11-22T16:01:08","date_gmt":"2011-11-22T22:01:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/?p=862"},"modified":"2011-11-22T16:01:08","modified_gmt":"2011-11-22T22:01:08","slug":"westys-a-jerk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/?p=862","title":{"rendered":"Westy’s a Jerk!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Big-eared zombie! Word count: 37,427<\/p><\/div>\n

Was looking over last year’s progress report and discovered I’m about at the same place this year as I was last year, which is heartening. Don’t see much writing time over the next few days, and have only written 1227 words today, mostly due to being really, really tired. Need to push through a few hundred more to try to at least hit 38k (11\/22\/10: 39,700. 39! Almost 40! Imagine where I’d be if I was at 40k….)<\/p>\n

Anyhow. Here’s a little piece of a bit:<\/p>\n

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There was about a tenfoot gap between the roof I was on and the roof of Tim Stimph\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s building. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d never been involved in a rooftop chase which required me to leap from one building to the next, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d seen a lot of movies, and it looked like a lot of fun, so I was eager to get going. How often do you get an opportunity like that?<\/p>\n

I gauged the distance, estimating how much of a running start I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d need. Ten feet isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a whole heck of a long jump (the men\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s world record in long jump is almost six time as far) but when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re ten stories above ground, it tends to make you extra cautious even if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re certain (or at least the voice in your head is certain) that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d survive the fall. Jumping from roof to roof was something I wanted to do. Experiencing a 100-foot drop with a sudden and violent conclusion was not.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is so bad-ass,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I said, psyching myself up. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a fucking action hero.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Brains.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re a zombie with a human complex.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153And you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re a wet blanket buzzkill. This is going to be so cool.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I stepped back about 30 feet, and did a couple test runs of the running start. When I was confident I could manage the jump, I took a couple deep breaths (unnecessary, of course) tore ass across the roof and leapt into the air.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yippie-cay-yay motherfucker!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I shouted.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Brains.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Why is it that David Hasselhoff was killed in a riot in Berlin? I thought he was really popular in Germany.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Guh?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I asked. And then, as I slammed into the side of the building whose roof was my target, I said something along the lines of, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oof.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d caught the lip of the building\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s roof right in my midsection. I think I felt (and heard) a couple ribs crack. If I still had a functioning circulatory system, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have a hell of a bruise. As it was, I was just really annoyed.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dammit, Westy,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I shouted, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153you did that on purpose!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Was looking over last year’s progress report and discovered I’m about at the same place this year as I was last year, which is heartening. Don’t see much writing time over the next few days, and have only written 1227 words today, mostly due to being really, really tired. Need to push through a few […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[109],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nanowrimo","tag-excerpt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/862","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=862"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/862\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}