![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/Picture_0301.jpg\" "\\"Picture_030[1]\\"")
<\/a>12. A picture of you. 11\/12\/2010. I couldn't find any pictures of you, so I used a picture of me.<\/p><\/div>I’m guessing that whoever came up with this Picture-a-Day meme was feeling uncreative when they came up with number 12. “A picture of you.” That’s cool, I know the feeling.<\/p>\n
Passed the halfway point early this morning. As always, the milestone word was a barn-burner. It was “and.” Makes me wish I’d been writing an incredibly long compound sentence with this “and” being the pivot point for the whole thing. But, we can’t always get what we blah blah blah.<\/p>\n
Not a whole lot to choose from for today’s excerpt, but I don’t want to disappoint, so: Paul and Arthur have left work and headed over to Paddy O’Irish, the local faux-Irish pub. The joint is crowded (it’s happy hour!) and conflict’s a-brewing (for the faint of heart out there, fear not, the conflict is swiftly and peacefully resolved.)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153We were waiting for those chairs,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said a vaguely familiar looking 20-something to my right. He and his buddy moved closer to me than I felt was socially acceptable. I sized him up, figured I could probably take him so long as Paul took care of his friend. I was a lover, and not a fighter, and also, most of the time, not a lover. Usually it took three or four drinks before I started thinking about how awesome it would be to get into a fight, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d had a hell of a day, and I wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t above doing things out of their usual order.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh, sorry,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I said. Paul started to rise, but I put a hand on his shoulder, pressed him back down into the stool. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t I know you from somewhere?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
The guy studied my face. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I swear I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve seen you before,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I said, stroking my chin. I had no beard at the time, but it was useful as a thinking aid nonetheless. I snapped my fingers. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got it! You work for PackCo, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d PackCo was a box company in the same industrial park as Cola.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d the guy said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d you know?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153We,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I indicated Paul and myself, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153work for Cola Industries.”<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bully for you. I said my friend and I were waiting for those chairs.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153He said \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcbully,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Art,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Paul said, his voice full of awe. Ironic <\/em>awe. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Did you hear that? He actually said \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcbully for you.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I heard him, Paul.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I turned back to the PackCo employee. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Say, do you remember that wicked kickball tournament last month?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah, of course.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah, see, do you remember how Cola kicked PackCo\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ass?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t see what this has to do with those chairs.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, we won the Cranbury Cup. You remember that, right? Yeah. And the winner of the Cranbury Cup automatically gets priority seating at O\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Irish. It says so right on the trophy.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t remember hearing that,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d the guy said.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s true,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Paul affirmed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tradition. Goes back twenty years.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Never mind the fact that Paddy O\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Irish opened 18 months ago.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sounds like bullshit to me,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d the guy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s friend said.<\/p>\n
Just then, Stella, O\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Irish\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s friendliest and most attractive (yes, I asked her out; yes, she said no; yes, I explained it away by telling myself that I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to go out with her in the first place) bartender approached and said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hello, boys, what can I get you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Stella, could you explain to these gentlemen here about how the winner of the Cranbury Cup gets first choice of seating here?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Stella looked at me, and then at the two gentlemen in question. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh yes,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a long-standing tradition. Goes back twenty-five years.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Disheartened, the two PackCo employees retreated to the other side of the bar.<\/p>\n
“So long boys,” I called after them. “Better luck next year. We’re big fans of your boxes!”<\/p>\n
Paul and I ordered Yeunglings and drank them in comfort and style.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153That, my friend,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153is why I always tip my bartender generously.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’m guessing that whoever came up with this Picture-a-Day meme was feeling uncreative when they came up with number 12. “A picture of you.” That’s cool, I know the feeling. Passed the halfway point early this morning. As always, the milestone word was a barn-burner. It was “and.” Makes me wish I’d been writing an […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[257],"class_list":["post-714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-aphotoaday"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/714","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=714"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/714\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}