{"id":696,"date":"2010-11-07T10:52:15","date_gmt":"2010-11-07T16:52:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/?p=696"},"modified":"2010-11-16T13:03:27","modified_gmt":"2010-11-16T19:03:27","slug":"love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/?p=696","title":{"rendered":"Love!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

7. A photo of someone you love. Phil Martin & me at Morseland 11\/2\/10<\/p><\/div>\n

Another tough one to figure — what with photos of my best friend(s) and family coming up. Certainly Phil falls into those categories as well, and people in those categories crossover too. But, hell, decisions had to be made, so Phil makes it in. How could I not love him? Driving out to Golf Mill on Saturday mornings, through the gray of Chicago winter and the morass of teenaged minds; chopping wood; getting lemonade on the nose. So much history.<\/em><\/p>\n

Realized I haven’t updated the word count here lately: 15,517.<\/p>\n

Today’s excerpt is based on an actual conversation about an actual website:<\/p>\n

\n
Shutting the door of the cutting room behind me, I found myself mere feet away from the cubicle. A trip that should take five minutes at the most, it had taken me nearly a half hour to traverse the building. I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t believe I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d finally made it. I rested for a moment against the cubicle wall, listening to the bickering coming from within.
\nPaul\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s voice: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fake, Therese. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not real.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTherese: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How do you know that?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Because, Therese, I looked it up on Snopes.com and it said it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not real. Also, because I saw the same email 2 years ago. Also, because nobody would actually publish a real how-to website on how to make a bonsai kitten.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nI could hear Kate say something, but because she spoke so quietly and in a monotone, I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make out any of the words. I was surprised that either Paul or Therese could understand her, but apparently Paul heard her perfectly because he replied directly. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Kate, there is no valid reason to censor the website. Anybody who is stupid enough to believe the website is real — no offense to either of you, of course — has bigger issues. And anybody who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s insane enough to try it probably already has a freezer full of body parts.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ewww, gross,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said Therese.
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m just saying,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Paul replied.
\nTherese scoffed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcJust saying,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she mimicked. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re just saying that you think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s okay for someone to post instructions on how to abuse kittens on the web.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153There are much worse things out there, Therese! And we shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be looking to censor the web, especially not a site that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s so obviously a joke! The site\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s owner can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t and shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be held responsible for what people do after they look at the site. You can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t blame Ozzy Osbourne for suicides, Dexter for murders, or Grand Theft Auto for carjackers. If people are fucked up, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re fucked up. End of story.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You sound just like Arthur,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Therese said. I smiled. It was true. He did.
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, there are worse people to sound like,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Paul said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Where is that dude, anyway?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nIf I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d needed a cue, that was it. I love making a good entrance. I stepped around the corner. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Have no fear, my friends. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m right here.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Heeey, Art,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Paul said. We high-fived.
\nTherese and Kate, who had both been facing the center of the cubicle, turned their chairs back towards their desks.
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ladies,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I said, walking to my desk. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nice to see you again.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nI fell into my chair, exhausted from running the obstacle course that was the Cola Industries building.
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey Art,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Paul said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get too comfortable.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nI sighed. I just wanted to sit at my desk, maybe waste some bandwidth out of spite. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why not?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I asked.
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Time for lunch.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nImmediately rejuvenated, I jumped from my chair. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Cool. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s grab Jimmy.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Another tough one to figure — what with photos of my best friend(s) and family coming up. Certainly Phil falls into those categories as well, and people in those categories crossover too. But, hell, decisions had to be made, so Phil makes it in. How could I not love him? Driving out to Golf Mill […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[109],"tags":[257,16,110,251,230],"class_list":["post-696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nanowrimo","tag-aphotoaday","tag-excerpt","tag-love","tag-phil","tag-word-count"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=696"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/696\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}