{"id":358,"date":"2006-11-08T18:54:00","date_gmt":"2006-11-09T00:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/?p=358"},"modified":"2006-11-08T18:54:00","modified_gmt":"2006-11-09T00:54:00","slug":"the-magnificent-lakeview-lounge-continued","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/?p=358","title":{"rendered":"&quot;The Magnificent Lakeview Lounge&quot; Continued"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/www.chaoskid.com\/nano2006\/uploaded_images\/Photo 31-786861.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.chaoskid.com\/nano2006\/uploaded_images\/Photo 31-783139.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><br \/>Word count: 18492<br \/>Pain in abdomen: Pretty freakin intense. I think maybe a strained rib cage? Hairline fracture? All from leaning against a bar (I was not drunk &#8212; I was working and trying to grab a bar towel&#8230;.dammit.)<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<p>I finish off my drink. &#8220;I should really get going, pal. It was great to see you. How much do I owe you for the booze?&#8221;<br \/>&#8220;Aw, Charlie. It&#8217;s on the house, of course,&#8221; Bart says. &#8220;Just come by more often. And remember to tell your woman that if anything happens to you, I&#8217;ll be happy to take care of her,&#8221; Bart says.<br \/>I laugh, &#8220;Oh, I&#8217;ll be sure to let her know. I&#8217;m sure she&#8217;ll be thrilled. But what if something happens to me?&#8221;<br \/>&#8220;Oh, nothing will ever happen to you, buddy. You&#8217;re Charlie Bonnet.&#8221; Summoned by a patron, Bart walks off to pour a beer. &#8220;I&#8217;ll be seeing you!&#8221;<br \/>Yeah, that&#8217;s me, I think to myself. Charlie Fucking Bonnet. Nothing happens to me except everything that&#8217;s happening to me right now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Word count: 18492Pain in abdomen: Pretty freakin intense. I think maybe a strained rib cage? Hairline fracture? All from leaning against a bar (I was not drunk &#8212; I was working and trying to grab a bar towel&#8230;.dammit.) I finish off my drink. &#8220;I should really get going, pal. It was great to see you. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=358"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=358"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=358"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=358"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}