Chaoskid — at the movies!<\/p>\n
First of all, I saw The Transporter<\/a> this weekend. A decent movie — pretty much exactly what I expected. Jason Statham is a badass driver-man for whoever’s got the money. No questions asked, of course. Three rules that he lives by: once the deal is made, it’s non-negotiable, no names, and never open the package. Of course, all three rules get broken during the course of the movie (to humorous results, ha ha!) Despite its absolute corniness, which didn’t really bother me like it did in Signs<\/a>. Here I was expecting it, with Signs, I was completely shocked. Just goes to show you that it’s all about your preconceived notions….<\/p>\n Not much to say about that. But:<\/p>\n A preview for Extreme Ops<\/a> left Sean and me laughing hysterically. I usually hate it when people say “I can’t believe they made that movie!” or “They’re making a sequel to Breakfast Club?” because there’s no point in being dramatically shocked by what Hollywood’s doing. The moviemakers have shown time and time again that they’ll make a sequel to anything if they think there’s a dollar in it. Extreme Ops made me question even the sanity of that…. This movie is amazing<\/i> — 6 “insane” extreme sports enthusiasts meet in some remote tundra in an abandoned hotel<\/strong> to film a commercial. Unbeknownst to them, a few terrorists<\/strong> have hidden among the crew. Now it’s up to the extreme<\/strong> heroes to put a stop to their dastardly deed. I’m not kidding here. Most dramatic moment: some guy’s snowboard gets shot in half. “Oh no — my board<\/i>!” Funniest moment: “That’s why snowboarding’s better than skiing.” In your face skiers of the world! Woo hah!<\/p>\n Second worst premise ever:<\/p>\n Miss Perfect teenage girl pisses off the local stereotypical freak\/witch\/goth girl who places a curse on her. The next morning she wakes up as…. Rob Schneider! Now Rob has to find a way to turn back into a high school cheerleader, deal with (undoubtedly) humorous sexual issues and defeat terrorists or something. I’m not sure — I stopped paying attention at that point.<\/p>\n Kiefer Sutherland, what have you done?<\/p>\n Poor Kiefer, he’s the victim of the worst timing of any of us. Last year, his show 24 was pushed back due to some plane-blowing-up content. Now, his return to the big screen is sullied just because of some silly serial sniper. Phone Booth<\/a> isn’t coming out for a while thanks to Washington DC’s latest craze…. What’s the world coming to, Kiefer?<\/p>\n Oh yeah — good morning, suckers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Chaoskid — at the movies! First of all, I saw The Transporter this weekend. A decent movie — pretty much exactly what I expected. Jason Statham is a badass driver-man for whoever’s got the money. No questions asked, of course. Three rules that he lives by: once the deal is made, it’s non-negotiable, no names, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[197],"class_list":["post-218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-movies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=218"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/218\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.illinoir.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}